Birthday Wishes

The card is open on the counter, the pen is in your hand, and Happy Birthday with an exclamation point is not going to cut it for your mom. Writing the message is often harder than choosing the present, because the words have to sound like you and fit the person: a husband of twenty years, a daughter turning six, a brother you mostly trade insults with, a boss whose card is going round the office, a friend you have not seen since they moved.

Tone is the real decision. Funny lands with a sibling or a best friend and falls flat on a teacher or a grandparent. Sentimental suits a parent, a son or daughter, a wife, or a partner who is far away on the day. Short and warm covers a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a niece or nephew, and anyone in the awkward zone, including an ex you still speak to. Toddler wishes for first, second and third birthdays are really written for the parents. Prayers and blessings suit a family where faith is part of the day, and there is even something to write for yourself. And when you missed it, belated lines fix it; when your own phone will not stop buzzing, thank you replies handle the rest.